Working with the Goddess

Whether you are man or woman, we can all benefit from working with the Goddess ~ in any of her many forms. When you focus your gaze on the wise woman living within you, there is a connection there not found in other spiritual haunts. Connecting with Goddess is connecting to the womb ... Home ... the darkest places of the earth ... the furthest depths of your soul.

Whenever I have a question that requires the greatest truth and wisdom, I call upon the Mothers and Grandmothers, the keepers of the light, the Ones who went before. And they always have the answers to my most profound queries.

The chant above is one I use when I need to draw upon the well of woman's knowledge. It always takes me to the place I need to go. I always hear what I need to hear, even if it's something I don't want to hear. But connecting with Goddess will give you the strength to listen, follow through, and stay strong ~ through the most challenging of journeys.

Trust in her and she will offer you her strength. Blessed Be ~ Nicole

Reincarnating ~ Choosing Your Destiny

I felt guided and inspired to write about a controversial subject today. For the past little while, I have been deep in thought about reincarnation ~ something I strongly believe to be a truth. I believe that when we finish this life, we go to a place of resting until we are ready to take on a new life. I believe we choose the life that will help us to learn the lessons we need to learn. I believe that we make a conscious decision about many of the details that will mold us into the human version of our spirit selves: Parents, siblings and other carefully placed influential people. Living conditions, place of birth, and most especially our challenges. Some of those challenges may be outside influences that we have no way to control. Some might not have enough food to eat, fresh water, shelter, or clothing. A person might be abused, physically, sexually or emotionally.

It is important to honour every being's path and existence, no matter what it is, and that includes the thought that somebody may have chose to learn their lessons in a life changing way. It is not for you or I to say that someones existence is right or wrong, good or bad, just or unjust. A wise woman I met once said this while giving advice to another: "You should be thankful to this man for the lesson he taught you; You learned your lesson very well. You will not forget what he taught you, and you will not make that choice again."

While you can go through life with this belief that we all choose our experiences, it is not a reason or an excuse to turn the other cheek when you see something you do not agree with. It is important to listen to your inner guidance about who to help, and when. Does our compassion for others ebb and flow, as so many other things do in our lives? Some days it is very important to care for others, reach out with love, nurture the souls of others and to truly participate in the feminine side of life. On the other hand, it is also important to honour the times for turning in that nurture to our own souls, allowing the more masculine side to take over and allowing us to be concerned with only what is immediate.

Whatever we choose to believe is just that, a Choice. My question to you is: Where did your choices begin? Do you believe that some unknown force decides your entire destiny? Or do you believe that you chose what is happening in your life? Have you ever decided you wanted your life to be a certain way ~ and has it ever manifested?

If you could plan out your next life, what would you choose? How to approach a question like that .... How can you be better, today? What can you focus on to change into the person you long to be? Is there anything you can do to love your life, every moment of it? I would love to hear your thoughts on this post ... so please feel free to comment!

Meditation Ideas:

See the joy in the small things in your life. Every once in a while, sit down and observe what is happening in your own world. Watch the wind blowing through the trees, silently. Immerse yourself in your surroundings, notice things that you see every day, and honour them in reverence. Look at your hands and feel what they represent. Take deep breaths and relax your face ... just be in this moment. Choose to live mindfully, today.

The Prerogative to Change One's Mind

Change. The word itself makes some of us want to turn around ... and run away. Change, whether imposed or willed, is difficult for many of us. Deep in the core of our beings, we long to fulfill some destiny, but sometimes the actual steps required may be more daunting than we initially thought they would be. You must remember that you are the master of your own destiny ~ anything that you long for can most definitely happen!

The trick is, you have to allow the changes to occur. And sometimes, on rare occasion, you have to be the enforcer of the change. It is okay to turn your back on a path you are walking, even if it is just to look over your shoulder with a longing glance towards yesterday. Or to a time you felt was flowing more smoothly. It is okay to change your mind about something when it is not becoming exactly what you thought it would be. Sure, there are times when it isn't possible to quit or slow down, and you may not want to ~ those times should be honoured ~ maybe there is a lesson there. But when something is feeling complicated or difficult, or if you keep coming up against obstacles, it is okay to try something different. Perhaps there is another area of your life that needs attention ... Perhaps your energy would be better spent on something that is constantly nagging at you: Exercise, schooling, laughing, meditating, doing yoga, going for long walks ... Perhaps all that you need is a momentary break to figure out some nagging details of a recent venture. Then maybe it will be possible to continue on the path you were on, with ease, joy, and love. The flowing river of life.

Whatever decisions you make in your life will never be considered mistakes in the end. Look at your life as a meandering journey filled up with as much experience as you can pack into it. Take chances. Take breaks. Be in love with yourself. Be in love with the whole world. Try something new, and then rest if you can. Reflect on your life, daily. Be grateful for all that you have. Live your life in a balanced way ~ Make sure that you feel at peace sometimes. And above all, don't be so hard on yourself. You are the master of your own destiny.

Connecting with Trees

Tree Shadows - translated from Japanese

All hushed the trees are waiting
On tiptoe for the sight
Of moonrise shedding splendour
Across the dusk of night
Ah, now the moon is risen
And lo, without a sound
The trees all write their welcome
Far along the ground

I recently watched a documentary on KCTS explaining the history of the Appalachian mountain regions. It was titled "Appalachia: A History of Mountains and People". One of the things that I got from this beautiful story was the strong sense of connection the early settlers had to their surroundings. There was a respect for the land, including her mountains (there are hundreds of named mountaintops in this region, all with a story), trees (including one tree that was nearly put into extinction by an imported tree of the same name), rivers, streams and of course - the earth itself. These people understood that trees, especially, offered so much to them in terms of food, protection and more.

I love trees. I think we all do, because they offer a kinship. And a connection to the deepest parts of Earth, through roots that plunge into depths we couldn't reach on our own. When we lean on a tree, we can feel that connection very strongly. There is nothing quite so grounding as leaning on a tree, allowing that tree to support us, to remove negative energy, to drain away tension and anxiety and sadness. When I see large roots surfacing to the ground I walk on, I see it as a great gift. The roots of trees remind me of veins and arteries, carrying lifeblood from the light of day down into the depths of our beautiful planet. Where this energy can be cleansed, and where seeds can be sown for later, drawing strength over time, and gaining ancient knowledge to be used at exactly the right moment. There is no greater incubator for such things than our dark, moist and feminine earth.

I find it interesting that trees announce themselves each season as well, constantly reminding us of their importance to the nature of our world. They reflect our own nature as well ... leaves transforming before falling from the tree, preparing for winter. The dormant, introverted process of winter. The burst of energy and colour in the spring. The bold and boisterous, celebrating green of summer. It all reflects our humanity in some way.

And so, now and then, take the time to appreciate a tree. Sit at its' base, gaze lovingly at one, hug one, decorate one ... allow yourself to feel your roots extending into the center of the earth - grounding you, teaching you, understanding you. Draw on the ancient wisdom of the great tree ... one of our great teachers.

Balance?

Balance is something many of us strive for, and many of us never achieve. If every day we are struggling to: eat well, sleep well, be good parents, work hard, exercise, pick up the mail, go to the bank, do the laundry, do the dishes, cook the meals, AND schedule some time for spiritual, creative or intellectual pursuits ... Do you think you should beat yourself up at the end of each day wondering if you "achieved" balance?

What is Balance? Is it fair to ever think that Balance is something we can have? If your life is not balanced, is it chaotic instead? And why do we think that Balance should be the focus of our lives? Is it ever okay to throw up your hands and say "f*%k it!" and live in the moment? What would happen if we could all pass on the responsibility for worry to our spirit guides, angels and others?

Is it possible that there is a natural balance to everything? Most cultures and religions believe that there is, of course: Yin and Yang, Good and Evil, earthly and spiritual. Perhaps this natural balance takes it's form in ways we don't think about, such as:

~ work being spiritual in nature
~ washing our hands as a form of prayer
~ the smile you give a stranger as an offering
~ comforting a sister as invoking Goddess nature
~ holding your child's hand as an expression of Godliness
~ exercising patience as a form of meditation

When you embody your true self in love, and you surrender yourself to the natural order of things, you can truly have the opportunity to experience your life in balance. Living in the moment, breathing in each breath of your life with your natural awareness, maybe you will begin to live your life. When life gets hectic, and your guilt starts to build over what you haven't done, take a deep breath and let it go ... or say F*#k It!! (Whatever works). Perhaps it won't feel like balance, but you might feel instead a true inner happiness, rather than a feeling of dread as you go over the checklist of your life.

Women of Power

The other night I was able to be a part of something amazing. I was invited to a women's full moon ceremony. Now, my good friend and I open circles together several times throughout the year, but this was the first time I would be attending someone else's circle. At first I felt defensive about going, that this circle would somehow overshadow my personal efforts. But I knew I had to attend, I knew there was a reason. I suppose there always is.

We started the evening by writing down "I invite the Goddess of the Moon into my life to ... (fill in the blank)". We were also to write down what in our life we are thankful for. Many of us went on writing for a long while before it was time to move on. Next we were each asked to pull a card from a large variety of decks: Egyptian Tarot, Goddess cards, and others.

The two women leading the circle, Dianne and Beverly, talked for a while about what it means to be a woman ~ the Power we have within us to make anything happen ~ How no man was ever born without a woman's permission ~ How even the Son of God was born from a woman ~ How no thing ever happened to a woman without her authorizing it in some way; We are never victims. We talked about how, during the Feminism Era, we wanted to be like Men ... and how it is now time to be Women again, embracing that deep, connected power within.

We were instructed that we would each have a turn to tell others what the card we chose was saying to us. We were reminded that each card would have a message for not only the person who picked it, but for each member of the group. I was blown away at how much wisdom we had, standing together like that. Dianne and Beverly were consistently aware of the underlying theme to every woman's situations, and were incredibly talented at pulling us together. What really struck me was how each and every woman in that room was going through some kind of huge transformation, including me.

One thing that Beverly said really hit home for me: We need to walk the road between the light and the dark, veering off to experience this or that and then returning to that middle ground. Walk between the light and the dark. Perhaps this is something I have been missing at times ... pushing aside that Shadow Wisdom in favour of love and light ... perhaps I did that out of fear? I do believe that we are here to experience every single moment to the fullest extent that we can. For myself, I am content to take my life one day at a time .. and one moment at a time when things get out of hand.

I am so thankful to have been a part of such a special evening, and to have had the opportunity to channel that ancient women's wisdom with others.

Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again! ~ Nicole

I have been on a hiatus from focused spiritual activity for several months now, and I am finally beginning to feel the pull of the Divine. Could I be ready to tip the scales back into balance?

As I mentioned in previous posts, this is the first time in my life where I truly felt an aversion to "practicing" my spirituality. With this whole situation I have been feeling seriously guilty, as though I am neglecting myself. In a way, I have been neglecting myself, but during a meditation today I drifted into that lovely space and heard the words "It is always here for you, whenever you need it".

That got me thinking ... perhaps I've been led astray in thinking that I need to pick every situation in my life apart, prying it open to find meaning. What need was I fulfilling by deciphering every message with a book, a card ... someone else's words? I have talked about this in the past, that the answers are always available ~ all you have to do is ask. So was it that I didn't believe it? Or was it just fun for me to play a game of detective? Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with asking questions, and trying to get more information about something that you don't understand. But when you are waiting for the next "message" instead of living a life of peace, in peace, is there something missing there? Did I miss anything valuable when my head was bent over a book, floating around in someone else's world? Or is that part of the experience too ~ Not being able to focus on more than one thing at a time ~

During this time of "incubation" I have noticed my family animal totem, the bald eagle, soaring above me ~ reminding me of all the sacredness of life. But not once did I look up the meaning again. I simply nodded my head and watched him soaring in circles, high up in the sky, observing the world with a new perspective, a changed mind, and a strength from that deep, vast place where all our hearts convene.

Namaste, my friends.

Transformation: Final Stage

I am slowly coming through a recent transformation, and it has been the longest concentrated process of change I have been through. There has been a consistent feeling of a very silent surface … with very much going on inside of me. I am relieved to have finally come to a life-changing realization. For some reason, it will be difficult for me to post on this blog, but in reality, it is only hard on my Ego.

Eleven years ago, I received my First Level Reiki certificate. This happened during another transformation, where I was coming out of a dangerous place in my mind; a time during which I had abused my mind, spirit and body. Reiki, and the community that came with it, cradled me through some difficult memories. I was twenty years old, with no direction, and no real idea about the big world around us. Really, I had little confidence in myself and my abilities. I thought that because spirituality was the only thing I understood fully, surely my career would follow this path. (What else could I be good at?) To be honest, I actually felt obligated to the art of Reiki to incorporate it into my life fully, in order to repay the Universe for the gifts I was given. Writing this now, I realize that there are no debts to the Universe, most certainly not for the gift of healing! I know now that my only obligation is to enjoy my life, sharing all the love that I can, and living mindfully.

So I started asking myself some questions: What is my passion? What do I love to do? The answer came to me so simply: I love to write and I love to bake. I saw a vision of myself in my own bakery, helping people, brightening their day with something sweet, sharing my love and my passion, giving a gift. There were other times that I tossed the idea of baking around, but I always had a million reasons why I wasn’t good enough to pursue it. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner! In my early twenties, I worked at an amazing bakery called The Wildflour Bakery in Sechelt, on the Sunshine Coast. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was soaking up the techniques like a sponge. I would watch the bakers making cakes, tarts, bars, cookies and bread ~ fascinated. I would ask questions, watch how their hands moved, notice what the bread dough looked like under their hands, or how firmly they were pressing shortbread into pans. Even when I moved back to Squamish, working at a financial planner’s office, there just happened to be a French pastry chef working across the street. I loved to go there, some weeks it was every day, to pick up something sweet. I remember longing to go into the kitchen to watch Alain perform his magic, but I never asked.

Baking has always been a passion. And now I am ready to pursue it fully … so I’ve opened a home-based business! I am already busy filling orders, and I have to say, I absolutely love it. I feel like I am doing exactly what I should be doing. Living my life.

Confrontation

Growing up, I was never given a true example of how confrontation can be addressed in a positive way. Like most women in my mother's generation, confronting someone was seen as a very negative thing to do. I think there is a positive and constructive way to confront someone, but that doesn't make it easy.

Recently, I was forced to confront an acquaintance of mine who stepped over the line in our relationship. When it first happened I was willing to ignore it, to just let it go. But a friend of mine, when I told her what had happened, said to me "What kind of relationship do you want to have with this person? Do you want to allow this to happen again? Because by not saying anything, you are silently giving permission for this to happen again." I was sick for three days about the way this person overstepped the boundaries, and the feeling wouldn't go away. I was forced to confront the situation. I said my part and walked away, allowing this person a way out should they want to hide from me for a while, in shame. I also gave this person permission to discuss the situation with me. Honestly, one confrontation is enough for me, but should this person want to talk with me, I need to be open enough to listen. And strong enough to keep my boundaries clear.

A few months ago, when we put on the "Boundaries and You" workshop, I thought I knew something about boundaries because of my experiences in my family. It is so much harder when faced with a challenge outside of your comfort zone. By being passive in this particular relationship, I really was giving this person permission to walk all over me. And that wasn't right. It is okay for me - and you - to set up boundaries early on, and to confront another person when those boundaries are overstepped. For me, personally, I am hoping this whole situation will blow over quickly. With a new outline for us to follow, I am sure that this person and I can move on in this relationship amicably. There is always the chance that this person may be hurt or embarassed by what I had to say, but sometimes you need to call people on naughty behaviour. It wasn't right what happened, but because I said what I needed to say, I can feel myself forgiving this person. Having compassion for someone who wronged you can be a very powerful thing.

The Dark Side of Change

When it comes to writing, I have a bad habit of only writing when I feel balanced. In this moment, I am going through a transformation … one that is feeling quite large and a bit unmanageable right now. I find that resisting the transformation was making it incredibly more difficult to deal with. I am now trying to allow the process to unfold without interfering. Some days I’m not sure if I can be strong enough to face the dark side of my spirituality – the side that shapeshifts, that turns everything I know out of me, changing my perceptions forever. How can I simply accept the fact that I am being changed forever, that everything that makes me who I am will be gone?

Well, perhaps not everything about me will change … but that is the hard part – not knowing what to expect.

For three years, I have been asking for freedom from anxiety, for direction in my life once the kids go to school, and for clarity of my life’s purpose. I’m beginning to think that my life’s purpose is just to live it, and that thought honestly makes me feel a little disappointed. Aren’t I meant to do something Big? Aren’t I meant to change peoples’ lives? Aren’t I meant to feel peace and harmony once I find this “life’s purpose”? For the most part of this period of discomfort I am going through, I have tossed my hands in the air asking, “What’s the point? What’s the point of being spiritual? What’s the point of trying so hard and I am seemingly getting Nowhere?”

The only one of my beliefs that seems to be sticking for me right now is one that my mother taught me when I was very young: The Golden Rule ~ Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be nice to people. Give them something of yourself – a smile, a hand on the shoulder, a laugh. That gentle consideration of others that is often lacking in our world, because of insecurity, fear, weakness.

What began this transformation was, of course, the Sound Healing workshop I attended a few weeks ago. After the workshop was over, I felt compelled to thank Danielea ~ I didn’t know what I was thanking her for, and I still don’t. After a few days, I think I realized that I was only at the beginning of something much larger, and the darkness set in pretty quickly. It was only a few days ago that I finally asked for guidance, ending my resistance to this change. I pulled one of the Mayan Oracle Cards and was blown away by what I chose. CAUAC - You are entering into a time of profound quickening and transformation . You have come to the edge of what you have known yourself to be. Cauac beckons you to step into a fire that changes every level of your being, even the underlying structures of your life. Step into the unknown - your metamorphosis has begun!

I am finding it incredibly challenging to write about this at a time where I have no resolution or reason for the emotions I’m feeling. But perhaps that is part of the process of change ... for me, there is no better way to own up to how I'm feeling than writing on this blog.

If anyone else has stories of transformation, I would love to hear them ... I am asking for guidance and help with all of this, because I feel incredibly overwhelmed right now.

In Gratitude ~ Nicole

Sound Healing

I was recently blessed to attend a workshop hosted by Danielea Castell. (She came all the way to Quesnel!) Her company name is One Conscious Voice – if you are interested in learning more, please check out her website: www.oneconsciousvoice.com/

I am not even sure where to begin in describing the experience I had in this workshop. I look back on it now, and in each moment I remember thinking “Well, this isn’t very significant” or “Shouldn’t I be feeling more?” … thoughts like these circulated in my mind throughout the course of the evening. At the end I went to thank Danielea, and I felt as though I were thanking her for something that was going to occur in the future. Something that has not manifested yet, but is slowly being put into action inside of me. She knew, without words to hug me, enveloping me with a sense of peace, love and understanding.

The sounds brought me together as one with both Mother Earth (Gaia) and Father Sky (Cosmos) … a beautiful meditation we were guided through. As I connected to Father Sky, it is almost as though I surrendered my voice, my spirit, my body to the Cosmos. My voice was no longer mine, but a buzzing droning sound … a sound that made me feel happy and sad, irritated and relaxed, elated and mournful ~ all at exactly the same time. I honestly did feel like the Divine Child … I really was taken to that place of naiveté, innocence and Oneness. Strangely enough, I felt no peace in this place, just a sense of movement, change, and growth. What has changed in me, I do not yet know. I feel as though I know so little, being exposed to something so vast …

Time is ripening the gifts that were exchanged, and the next morning I felt like I was finally coming down from the buzzing energy. Sound can change a person. Especially when you are the person making that sound, with intent and with passion.

Revelations were certainly had during the night, allowing me to weep, allowing me to let go of my earthly cares, allowing me to come back to the place of nothingness. Perhaps that is why I felt discomfort at times. Perhaps that is why I felt a loss at times. After feeling such a huge sense of connection, why do I feel so lost and confused now? Where does one go after facing the nothingness?

Creating Change

There is something I need to learn about stagnancy. It seems as though everyone and everything around me is moving, doing, taking action. I feel as though I am in the eye of the storm where all is calm and still, yet just outside of this tiny world I'm in, there is a perfect chaos taking over. A chaos understood, and even planned by our beautiful Universe.

People come in and out of my life, teaching me, embracing what I have to offer, and then some of them leave. Some of the people I've met since I moved here have been exceptional, phenomenal people. People who I grew to love and accept wholly into my life as dear dear friends. Friendships that will last the rest of our lives. Please don't misunderstand ~ I am not complaining, or feeling sorry for myself. I am just trying to embrace the situation that is consistently being presented to me in this place.

Quesnel is an interesting place. What I've noticed is that the people who move here are confronted by what they first perceive as a wall ~ a wall of judgement and ... almost .... persecution. It is a stigma that is often laid upon small towns that is sometimes deserved, and sometimes not. Quesnel is not what it appears to be on the surface. There are many many people here searching for something so much bigger. Inevitably there are always comments about how in a town like this, we can't expect to have a worldly frame of mind, because anything "different" will get you stoned or cast out. As outsiders, we perpetuate that story, allowing it to partially dictate what we do, what we say and how we act while living here. The best thing that a person can do is to be themselves, speak freely, and offer their knowledge and previous experiences to the collective. Everything changes, we all change, we all move in, move on, move up, and move out. When you not only embrace change, but make change, you are truly servicing your community.

Next month marks our fourth year living in Quesnel, and it is amazing to me how much this place has challenged and changed me. What I have come to realize in the past year is that Quesnel, and perhaps any place, is truly a blank canvas. I can have access to anything I want here ... but it is up to me to publicly announce what I would like to see ... and at times I have been the one to add something new to the community. I have had to step out of my personal comfort zone, roll up my sleeves and start a Mom to Mom Support Group. I have told strangers about my postpartum anxiety. My friend and I have put on workshops about spirituality ~ this was something that pushed me immediately outside of my comfort zone. But those workshops represented something larger than us ... I see now that more and more energy is building for spirituality, creative expression, yoga, sound healing and more. It is amazing to see the changes that are taking place, and I am honoured to witness them.

One of the rewards of living in a small town is that you have the opportunity to help build a foundation that gives a place its' character. For me personally, I am working on making peace with the stagnancy that I am being challenged with. I sometimes feel as though I am firmly rooted here, with no thoughts to leave, and if I can embrace my groundedness, I can be a very strong support for others. Perhaps I am a bridge for many people, a connection, a safe passage through a challenging situation. And that is something I believe I can enjoy offering to those kindred spirits who weave in and out of my life.

With Gratitude, Nicole

Sibling Relationships - Part Two: Breakdown

On the afternoon of my last post, something happened to change my perspective drastically on my sibling relationships. Out of respect, I won't get into too many details about what transpired. But I will say that one of my sisters made a decision that I didn't agree with. I felt offended, hurt, betrayed that she could make this decision, even though in the big picture, it shouldn't affect me. I have always been overprotective of my sisters, probably since day one, and I have felt a responsibility to watch out for them. But I realized that I am not responsible for these women! My happiness is not dependant on theirs, and sooner or later I will have to let go of that.

I have begun that process already. Now that I am becoming aware of the deep energetic connection I have with her, I am realizing how much I am attached to her. So, several times a day, I find myself "cutting" that energetic cord, releasing my responsibility and allowing her to make her own choices. Without my judgements, which can be harsh and a little too honest, at times. So often in our relationship, I've wanted her to approve me, to accept and love me. Even if it involved betraying my true self. Perhaps that is why I found it appropriate for me to judge her, and to hold an idea in my mind of who she should be. When that isn't who she truly is.

Our families, no doubt, are the blank canvas with which we begin our lives. But we don't have to remain stagnant in anothers' perception of us, and our siblings do not need to either. Our definitions of each other must change, and we need to allow the opportunities in order for that to happen. Holding on to anger, hurt and disappointment only makes it harder to live a life independent of judgement. I am slowly learning this ... and I am not finding it all that easy. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I know that peace is waiting there for me. And my siblings, if they choose it.

Sibling Relationships

Sibling Relationships - Why are they so much different than most other relationships? I think they are different because you feel that because you were raised in the same household, and in essentially the same way, that your sibling somehow understands you. That they somehow know why you are the way you are, and that they feel the same way you do.

Sibling relationships seem to be, in childhood, a testing ground for social behavior. In the transition to adulthood, it is easy to remain in a state of competition with your siblings. There a point where some of us draw a line in the sand as to what we will put up with, and the result can sometimes cause a temporary rift in a relationship. Sometimes, if the competition or rivalry has been going on for quite some time, these temporary rifts can become long, deep-rooted silences.

In my personal experience, if you can somewhat detach yourself from the family dynamic you grew up with, you can pave the way for a healthier relationship to flourish. Throughout our formative years, we are slowly squeezed into a mold that we often allow to define us as we enter adulthood. This stereotype is dependant on our temperament, the personalities of other family members, as well as mutual experiences within our families. An example: The family goes to an adventure park - the oldest one is challenged by another family member to try bungee jumping, or the zip cord. The oldest one is used to being brave, and is frequently commended by other family members on this trait. The parents often boast to outsiders about this quality. In a way, the oldest child has no choice but to be the brave one, because that is what is expected of him.

When we can break free of these expectations and obligations, we open ourselves up to becoming friends with our brothers and sisters. This means letting go of previous judgements, grudges and negative experiences that involved our siblings. It also means forgiveness. I am lucky enough to have become friends with my two sisters, and I’d like to share some thoughts about them here. I hope I’m not crossing any boundaries by doing so.

My eldest sister is a very intuitive woman who has taught me, and continues to teach me, how to take care of myself. She takes care of herself, knowing when she needs alone time, journaling nearly every day, and constantly looking for new inspiration. These are important aspects of life that we women tend to forget about or push aside. She is independent with a strong will, and a free spirit. She can laugh and make me laugh like nobody else can. Her and I can get so silly together, making up characters, songs, crazy dances and the like. We usually end up laughing so hard that our bellies hurt. We connect deeply on a spiritual level, and both hold the belief that you create your own destiny – no one else is responsible.

My youngest sister is a nurturing, caring person with a big heart. She loves everything about food, and that is where we connect the most right now. She loves to cook, she loooves to eat, and she loves to try new things in the kitchen. She is incredibly passionate about food, and is willing to take chances when she cooks, which I admire about her. She loves to be near the ocean, fishing and being immersed in nature. She gives so much to her husband, and revels in his attention. And she is another silly sister! When the three of us get together ... it is probably unbearable for other people. But we love each other, and would do absolutely anything for each other.

I have a tendency to try to take care of both of my sisters, which has its’ downsides, as not many adults need to be taken care of. I know there is a stigma about my place in the family because I am the only daughter who has children. There are still beliefs in our society, that family life (married with kids) is the best life. I don’t necessarily believe that’s true. I am happy with my life, and I know this is where I am supposed to be. But I know my sisters are happy with their lives too. Their paths are unique and beautiful and ... their own.

Cry If You Want To

Our lives are built upon a foundation of balance. Everything we let into our private psyches affects us, but did you know that each circumstance in your life is dependant on the other? We are part of the whole, and this is reflected in each aspect, large and small.

Our emotional balance depends on so many details ... minuscule matters such as how you awake in the morning, whether you drank coffee or tea, what the weather is like, the moods of the people in your home, and countless other circumstances. There are of course bigger things that affect us as well, such as an argument with a loved one, a close friend moving away, someone close to you being sick, and many many others.

In light of these revelations, it is important to recognize that our emotional balance varies from day to day. There is no reason to be hard on yourself for not being as happy as you were the day before. Be gentle with yourself, and continually recognize that you are an emotional being and that things affect you. There are many books, movies, songs and poetry about remaining positive, but I believe that sadness performs a purpose. Sadness give you an opportunity to become an introvert, focus solely on the feelings and then release them. You can use your emotion to purge your negative feelings, and to essentially make room for more love, more happiness and more peace in your life. It is okay to cry. It is good to cry.

This reminds me of a Holly Cole song called "Cry if You Want To" ... Enjoy!

The Mother, Earth

Mother Earth
She whispers Thank you
she feels my gratitude and echoes me,
I feel her presence
exchanging from the earth body to my own
I feel the divinity coursing
changing me
my blood is water
my body is dirt
my breath is fire
I am the air
cool, transient, unavailable
and sometimes forsaken
retribution in stillness
holding on to hope
Mother Earth, she bleeds for me
She bleeds her soft welcome so I can see
It is not pollution or misuse of the land
it is the lack of communication
I honour her when I walk upon her
stepping over her roots
she feeds me from veins that plunge into meaty soil
She needs me, and I need her
this exchange never ends
It goes on and on and on
We all need her this way

Honour Your Body

I was recently scheduled for a day surgery, and it got me thinking about how much our bodies are capable of. Have you ever taken the time to really think about how amazing your body is? The response you get when you honour and accept your body will probably be surprising for most people. When we look at our round bellies, less-than-perky breasts, muscular legs and all the other wrinkles, marks, rolls and dimples, it is easy to see our bodies as less than perfect and less than whole. But how much more real can you get than looking at these perceived imperfections and simply accepting them for what they are?

Most people, when they focus on their bodies, tend to use that focus towards exercising, dieting and feeling physically well. When will people begin to use that focus to look at the body as a perfectly whole vessel? Our bodies are a shell in which we get the opportunity to experience this life. But our bodies also hold a vast amount of knowledge we cannot understand unless we utilize its' power. Let us use the energy that these beautiful bodies can store and produce to manifest the spiritual lives so many of us yearn to have! Our physical bodies can elevate us and form a bridge into different levels of awareness.

Using vigorous exercise is certainly a way that you can change your vibration and experience having control over your body – this kind of exercise is immeasurable in terms of how it can make you feel. Part of this involves surrendering to the activity, blocking out thoughts of limitation, and embracing the truth in the experience. Another part of this requires you to listen closely to your body, and to honour your body when there is pain or discomfort. I believe the most important thing you can do is to trust your body. We all have accidents, we have all been hurt physically, and it is a jarring sensation. Some of us have had to undergo long recoveries from broken bones or surgeries. How much time did you spend allowing your body to recover from trauma? And did you have a dialogue with your physical self? Did you forgive the physical part of yourself if you felt let down, or if you lost faith?

Learning to trust and honour your body is an intimate and loving experience. As children, we used our bodies in any way we could, and it was fun to experiment with the possibilities! We would spin, we would run, we would hang upside down. We are still capable of all these actions as adults, but it feels sort of silly to perform these acts now. But that is exactly the point - using our bodies in this way changes our energy. For me, it is trail running. Single track, through the trees with roots exposed, branches reaching out to brush my head, mud everywhere. Allowing my body to do what it knows to do. I don't need to think about it, I just allow my body to move. It certainly was a long process learning to surrender to instinct, but I assure you, it has been worth it.

There are so many ways we can use our bodies, so why do we allow our brains to limit these possibilities? Take the time to honour and trust your body, and you will find you are rewarded with so much. Do what you can do today - spin in a circle, jump up in the air, lay on your bed with your head hanging upside down off the edge. And allow your body to do what it knows to do.

Needy Black Cat

It's not often that I receive inspiration to write in the evenings, but tonight inspiration parked itself in front of me, asking for a response. I went out for a walk with a good friend, weaving through the downtown neighborhood. We stopped in front of a house to chat for a moment, and I heard a little meow ... I, of course, made a kissing-come-hither-kitty noise, and the cat came running. A beautiful black slithering leg rubbing thing, he decided to come on a walkabout with us. We walked and walked, and soon realized we should loop back and drop the kitty off where we found him ... we talked to a neighbor who didn't know who he could belong to. And so he followed us some more.

My friend kept saying that I was meant to bring him home, but I knew deep down that this was a test from the Universe. This week I took back my body, and have come full circle from surrendering to pregnancy and childbirth. I have given a lot of myself, physically, mentally and emotionally. We don't realize as we are embracing pregnancy and new-motherhood that we will be giving so much of ourselves over to sustain new life. We don't put a lot of thought into how things will affect us in the long run, and the impact of all that we say and do as those children grow. I realized, as this darling creature was following us, that he would probably be a trouble maker, and an attention fiend, and that he would most likely yowl through the night ~ I could see this neediness in him. What he really needed is someone who needs him back with just as much intensity. And so I kept walking, even when the lights of the downtown core brightened around us. And I kept walking, even when he stopped to sit on the sidewalk, knowing full well he shouldn't go any further. He called after me, asking "What do I do now? Where do I go? I'm hungry!" I kept walking because I knew that I could not provide the things for him that he ought to have. Even though it truly broke my heart.

Halfway down the next block, there were some people eating a late dinner on a bench. I heard the woman say "Could we go somewhere warmer to eat?", and it crossed my mind to mention the cat, but quickly disregarded it. I didn't say anything at all. My friend and I sent lots of love and light to the sweet, lonely, friendly, silky-smooth black kitty. He would surely find his place. We separated to our vehicles, and just as I started my van, my friend looped around with her window open to tell me that the cat was now with the people sitting on the bench. I feel that the cat is safe now, and has secured himself a home with someone who can devote the love, time, and attention that he will certainly require.

It is not up to me to feed the world, clothe the world, or comfort the world. Once upon a time I believed that I could survive on the love in my heart, but as I've matured, I have begun to realize that when you give too much of yourself you end up with less. When you learn to trust the Universe, and know that the Universe provides everything we need and ask for, you begin to develop the talent for channeling that energy. What I witnessed tonight is that I don't have to provide everything for everyone, and that I am not the only person who can provide solace to someone in need. We are always offered the people, circumstances and experiences that we need to grow. It is up to us to accept or decline.

Rain Here, Rain There

It is raining in the Cariboo this morning. It rained all last night. The sound, the smell, the sight of glorious wet rain is something I miss very much about living on the Coast. It hardly ever rains in the Cariboo ...

There was something about Squamish rain that allowed me to remain in a very deep part of myself for days at a time. The rain truly gives one permission to revert back into oneself, dwelling in that deep, dark, introverted place of reflection.

I remember the day I figured out that if my feet, hands and head were dry, I could walk in the rain for hours. The soft, insulated sound of the raindrops splatting on my umbrella kept me in a very safe space in my mind. The moist air would rise up around me, huddling inside the umbrella, supporting my head - my brain, my mind. There is something very grounding about that humid rain, even when it is so cold it find its' way into your bones. I miss the feeling of falling asleep to the sound of heavy, pounding rain assaulting my roof, and me safe and cozy under the covers of my bed. Under the covers of so many things ...

The open skies of the Cariboo have convinced me to open myself up more, to embrace the extrovert that I have the ability to be; a shapeshifter in nature. Although the absence of huge mountains and massive trees was a shock to me at first, I now appreciate the openness of this place. I was forced out of the nest in many ways when we moved here, and the absence of the security the mountains provided was very apparent for me. Now I feel free, open and ready to truly embrace my life, my future, my passions.

I feel like the Cariboo is preparing me, slowly feeding me experiences, getting me ready for ... well, that I do not know. The other day I became incredibly frustrated because I don't know where my path is leading me. There are things I think I want to be and do, but it seems as though the Universe has other plans for me ... plans that I am not privy to. The only message I received was "Enjoy your children". Is that all? Is that simplicity the thing I am supposed to embrace in this lifetime, or is it just what I am supposed to embrace right now? You might say the Cariboo is making me feel restless ...

I believe that every place we live, visit or pass through, has something o teach us about our lives, our world, our Universe. Tuning in to the heartbeat of a place is not exactly an easy task, especially if the circumstances that brought you there are challenging you. Believing that there is a purpose underlying everything that you experience is a powerful tool, one you will use at some point - it could be tomorrow, it could be next month, it could be five or ten years from now. If I can personally remember that, I am going to be well on my way to letting go of my restlessness, and embracing the moment I am in. Like this moment now, this beautiful feeling of connectedness I receive when I write.

Inspiration: What is Your Role?

Inspiration: Where does it come from, and do you have to participate? Messages are there for us all the time, but it is up to us to look deeply into these messages to discover their meaning. It is also up to us to act on our gut instinct and follow that feeling, wherever it leads us. I was reading "Jack and the Beanstalk" to my kids the other day, and it got me thinking about inspiration too ... you might even say it inspired me to write this post!

In the story, Jack and his mother are forced to sell their only source of income, their milk cow, out of dire necessity. The only possibility the Mom could think of was "sell the cow so we can eat". When Jack returns home, having traded the cow for "magic beans", she becomes incredibly upset, throws the beans out the window and sends Jack to bed with no supper. The beanstalk grows overnight. Jack, being a boy, climbs to the top to discover a very rich giant. He steals the valuable and magical items, urged on by a fairy who tells him the giant stole these items from Jack's father.

Jack must have had a moment of inspiration in order for him to trade the cow, their only source of income, for five magic beans. Surely he realized his mother might not be impressed!Sometimes it takes another person to help you recognize those inspired thoughts. Had Jack's mother not thrown the beans out the window, they might have cooked the beans and eaten them! But the rest is left up to Jack. When he climbs the beanstalk, he is taking an incredible risk. Further, he goes inside this massive castle and sticks around when the giant is revealed! It seems that no matter what happens, Jack follows that inner driving force all the way through to the end of the ordeal.

The fairy is another interesting point in the story, although a small moment, it is incredibly significant. The fairy truly demonstrates that Jack was being pulled towards his destiny - he was in that clear, silent, knowing space, feeling open to and in tune with the Universe and all its' messages. The moment that the fairy tells him that these magical items belonged to his father, he finally understands why he felt such a strong pull towards this moment. In a moment of such clarity, Jack had nothing left to lose.

When you receive an inspired thought from the Universe, it is up to you to act on that thought, and to truly manifest it. When you ignore, push aside, or disregard these moments of inspiration, you forgo an opportunity. When you repeatedly pay attention to, and act on, inspired thoughts you become more sensitive to their meaning over time. It is up to you to participate in the creation of your own existence, your own destiny, your own life. And when your situation only makes sense to you, and everyone around you begins to question your motives, accept this as part of the path towards your destiny. You know your own life better than anyone, and any signs, symbols or messages you receive from the Universe have been custom tailored for you. They probably won't make much sense to very many people. That is okay! Part of the journey towards something better than what you are today is a period of uncertainty, and that uncertainty is what creates a truly rewarding experience for you.

The next time you have an inspired thought, no matter what it is, no matter how small it may seem, I am challenging you to act on that thought. It might just be a thought you have "Maybe I'll take the long way home" - see where it leads you. It may be a moment where you are driving in your car, alone, and the music suddely sounds very close and might seem like it has an echo. Stop thinking and enjoy this moment of simple clarity. Choose green when your mind shouts "Green!" Or when it seems like it's taking you a lot longer to get out the door in the morning, take it as a message to slow down! Yes, it seems counterintuitive, but you're going to get to your destination at the same time ~ but you'll start your day feeling much more relaxed!

Part of this experience is learning to trust yourself - and to trust that the messages you are receiving are real. Trust builds slowly over time, so be patient with yourself, and enjoy the process.

Beginning of a Change

I was recently a part of something that I believe is the beginning of a change. My good friend and I recently facilitated a three-part workshop series titled "Woman & Spirit Series". When we first began planning for these events, I wasn't sure what to expect. But what transpired throughout the course of these three evenings was nothing short of miraculous. Let me tell you what I saw:

I saw a small sampling of women who are eager to soak up spiritual knowledge like sponges. Women who were brave, who overcame their inhibitions, and who, possibly unknowingly, behaved like warriors. These women surprised me with how open they became, and how willing they were to try something new. They closed their eyes and just listened - to themselves, to their own energy, to each other, and to that Divine presence ~ the one that is always there, and who speaks to us, even when we aren't listening.

One of the most beautiful moments throughout these workshops was when we chanted through our chakras, and we all joined as one, in voice and in spirit. It was an amazing feeling. Each woman present, in all the workshops, brought to us a unique energy: personal life experience, knowledge, a questioning nature, a gentle soul, a joyous presence, an inner strength, a loving heart, a quiet spirit, a wicked sense of humour, a knowing smile ... and so much more.

There is so much that I was able to witness, and so many moments that I am still reviewing in my mind ... I am sure I will be writing more about my observations in the future .... But for now, alas, I must return to the momentum of my day ... my son is awake from his nap, and is quite certain that he is ready to come out of his room ;o)

Until next time, love and light ~ Nicole

Energetic Parasites

In the past month, I have been plagued with two sinus infections. Just before the first one occurred, my dad reminded me that he has had chronic sinusitis for all of his adult life. My mom reminded me that her mother also has sinus issues, and simply cannot smell for ten months out of the year.

During the first bout of sinusitis, I wanted to simply be rid of the annoyance of snuffling constantly, having to prop my head up high while I slept, and waking up three times per night to clear my head. I asked my body "What are you trying to tell me?" But no answer came, that I could hear. I tried meditating, I tried steaming my face several times a day, and I took decongestants. The infection finally subsided, and I was so happy to have the freedom to breathe again, to drink my morning cup of black tea again, and to generally feel healthy once more.

Unfortunately the sinus infection returned about two weeks later. I chalked it up to the stress of facilitating a three-part series of workshops for women ~ the first workshops I have ever in my life helped to present. I asked my body again "What are you trying to tell me?" I tried to settle myself into the dull ache inside the cavities of my skull, asking "Why?" At first, I only received the message "Communication". It took about a week of constantly analysing the situation, and asking, over and over, to feel the beginnings of a breakthrough.

I finally had a strange dream where there was some creature swimming beneath the skin of the back of my wrist. I cut open the back of my hand to reveal a cream coloured, sharp, determined looking parasite. For hours the following day, I knew this was a message my body was trying to relate to me ... and finally it dawned on me: Energetic Parasites.

I have always believed, to some degree, that we hold onto certain memories and experiences from our parents, grandparents, ancestors and so on. The realization was that the hereditary issues that we get stuck with are energetic parasites, leaching onto our energetic bodies without our knowledge. What if we have a choice to rid ourselves of the imminent susceptibility to certain family illnesses ~ corns on our feet, cancer, bad backs, chronic headaches, heart attacks, strokes, and so many other illnesses.

For me, once I had these realizations, I was unsure of how to approach my own situation. So I asked my higher self for guidance during meditation. It always amazes me that if I ask a question, I almost always receive an answer - as long as I am fully willing to hear that answer. This time the answer didn't come in words, but in feelings and urgings. I felt an urge to chant the sounds for each chakra, so I did from Root to Crown: LAM, VAM, RAM, YAM, HAM, AUM, NG

Buzzing with the energy and the vibration, I could see a line of white light coming into my crown chakra, going all the way through my bodies and chakras, and sending white light in horizontal lines through all the layers of my auric field, and exiting through the Root chakra going back into the earth. As the light penetrated my aura, I could feel it clearing away these parasites, prying them off and sending that energy back to the earth, the divine, the universe.

My sinus infection began fading incredibly quickly after doing this work. I am no longer in pain, and I have no fear of a recurring infection. I simply know that the parasites are weakened, if not completely gone. I get the feeling that this process would need to be repeated regularly, to ensure that any energetic parasites truly lose their grip on the fabric of my energy. But I feel such a sense of amazement at the intricate nature of our energy, how much we pick up from people, places, and circumstances. It all matters, every moment truly contributes to how we live today, in this moment.

I'm not sure where these realizations will lead, but I am excited by the journey! And I am open to all the new possibilities, discoveries and realizations that await us in the future.

What a Haircut Can Do!

For several years, I have wanted to have short hair. There is something liberating, sexy and free about a woman having short hair. I finally did it, and I just feel phenomenal! It's funny how we can turn around and perceive ourselves so differently after something as innocent as a haircut. I have so much more energy and confidence, and I do feel sexy, free and liberated.

For women, the hair we wear is a vital and important part of how we feel everyday. Some of us use it as a security blanket, some of us use it to distract people, some of us are changing it all the time. Colouring, cutting, growing, shaping, styling, washing, conditioning. What a metaphor for the multi-tasked lives that we lead. And of course, the way we treat our hair has a direct connection to how we are feeling, and where the current circumstances of our lives are at.

When I was a teen, I grew it halfway down my back, and dyed it bleach blond. Two weeks after I graduated, I cut it all off and used KoolAid to dye my hair into a rainbow of colours. What was happening in my life at the time was my boyfriend was going off to University, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life, and I felt like I had no power or control over what would happen next. But I had power and control over the way that I looked ...

I believe that we are all part of the same whole, that all energy equals one energy, and that we are here to fully immerse ourselves in the lives we have chosen. It is hard to avoid the fact that we are so sensitive to the visual world around us. Part of this includes judging ourselves and others on their hairstyles, clothing, pets, cars, houses ... and anything else we can compare ourselves to. I can hear my conscience shouting out ~But we are not supposed to get distracted by these visual details, we are supposed to see the beauty in everything!~

We are all part of a larger whole, and I believe that all other people in some way reflect our own selves. Maybe that's why when you get a great haircut, or an outfit that makes you feel great, you feel as though you are reflecting your true inner self - an attractive, confident and joyful being. This may sound vain ... but I consider my new haircut a gift to others, because I feel amazing, and because of that I can freely give my love, attention, joy and energy to those who need to be reminded of these qualities in themselves.

Feeling Stuck

There are times in our lives when we feel stuck, unclear as to what we will do next, and uncertain of how to make a change for ourselves. Sometimes the feeling of being stuck can be a cover for something that makes us feel uncomfortable. Deep down, we always know why we feel a certain way, but to move on you must question yourself and be prepared for the answer.

Sometimes it is necessary to invoke fate and to jump out of one's comfort zone. For me, it feels like I've had to reach a point where I asked myself: What do I have to lose? And really, what do you ever have to lose, in any situation? What is the worst that can happen when you create change and growth in your life?

What kind of life do you want to live? Don't be afraid to experiment with what you think you might want! This life, this whole experience is a river with many different currents upon which you can ride. Some currents will lead into a quiet canal, or resting place, where you can simply Be. Some currents will lead you on a wild ride, consistently bringing up something new for you to absorb. And some currents will lead you into swirling eddies, like a dead end, only to toss you back into the flow once again. When you take control of this flow, using Awareness and becoming mindful of what is happening energetically and spiritually, you open yourself up and you create a lesson for yourself.

When we move through life in a mindful way, we are truly participating in the fate that we were born to. Being aware of where your path has led you thus far, and how your experiences have prepared you for something new, is a priceless practice. When you take stock of your life in this way, you begin to see patterns emerging, circumstances that bring you full circle to something over and over again. What is it that you have been preparing for in this life? What lessons keep presenting themselves to you? And are you learning from those lessons?

The most exciting part of reviewing your life in this way is the wonderful question: What next?

Spiritual Teacher

I have had moments, as I'm sure most of us had, where I yearned for a spiritual teacher, someone to guide me to "find my own answers". Someone to get me thinking about Life, Spirituality, Magic and More. The Secrets to Life. But I am finding out, more and more each year, that I have an inner guide who is more than willing to teach me the things I want to know. Sometimes a message can come to you in bits and pieces, as though it were designed so you would start to really think about things. Here is an example:


There is a lot happening energetically right now around here. Last night, on my way to yoga, I was driving through some incredibly thick fog and I started to feel somewhat apprehensive. I couldn't see the road very well, and there was slushy snow to deal with. But it brought me back to the strange vision I had during meditation that day...

I was in a forest of birch trees and the fog was incredibly thick ~ I couldn't see much at all, but it was a peaceful, dreamy feeling. I looked down at myself, and I was wearing rugged, brown, leathery clothing. I walked for a while, then noticed that someone/something was applying pressure on my back, right on my solar plexus chakra. I looked to my right, as I felt a presence beside me. He turned his head to look at me, and he had the head of an Owl. He said "You don't have to see me to know that I am there". I didn't ask him any questions, we just walked some more, with him holding this comforting pressure on my back. It was lovely.

So as I was driving through this thick fog, I remembered this vision and immediately started to feel comforted. I stayed aware in the moment, and felt the eerie stillness of the night. When I drove up a hill and out of the fog, I felt such a strange clarity ~ like a lucid dream. It seemed as though the trees could come alive and speak to me ... everything looked brighter and clearer.

I had heard an Owl last week, in the early morning, while taking Tetley for a run. It was strange that I hadn't actually seen the Owl, as that is how I usually perceive such messages. But this vision clarified things for me.

Owl: Found at http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/owl.htm

The owl is the symbol of the feminine, the moon and the night.

The owl is the bird of magic and darkness, of prophecy and wisdom.
The owl is associated with Athena.

An owl totem gives you the power to extract secrets.

Meditate on the owl and things will be revealed.

Listen to its voice inside of you.

You will hear not what is being said by others, but what is hidden.

You can detect subtleties of voice that others cannot.

People cannot deceive a person who has an owl totem.

Owl people can see into the darkness of others souls.

Most owl people are clairvoyant because of this ability.

It can be very scary at times.

Learn to trust your instincts about people.

Let your owl totem guide you.

Honoured Cycles

There are times in your life when you will have great lessons to learn, spiritual messages to decipher and new practices to try. And there are times in your life when you may not require anything at all. Sometimes you are merely needed to be a support to others. As a woman, I can tell you these times are a part of the cycles of our lives. There is great importance to the daily, monthly and annual cycles we experience. To honour these cycles is to accept them, and to accept them is to surrender.

For months I have personally been striving to accept the cycles bestowed upon me. I had figured out that there are times that we feel fantastic, full of energy and life. There are times when we feel tired and quiet and almost mournful. There are times when it is right to turn our focus outward in order to connect with others and to offer our support and our energy to them. Wholly Completely and with only good intention.

I feel that this is a time for me to offer support to the ones I love, by simply being there for them. It feels incredibly natural right now to offer this support ... there is no hesitation, no discomfort in the idea of offering my hands to others instead of turning them back towards myself.

This is the first time in my life when, instead of feeling bored during a lull in my personal growth, I feel truly attuned to the possibility of what I can do for others. The miracle for me here is that after months of talking about honouring my cycles, monthly, annually and daily, I finally feel connected to this idea.

Allow yourself to accept where you are, right now, with no apologies and no worries. Honour your cycles and be true to your inner self.

Sensing the Energy of Another

It can be so easy to allow negative aspects of our world to get to us. There is a fine line between practicing loving-kindness and allowing people to walk all over you. Perhaps this is why so many people seem to throw up walls of defense all around themselves. The fear of being hurt by another human being, whether it is physical, mental, spiritual or energetic, this can truly paralyse the sensitive one. Even if one has managed to balance kindness while maintaining an energetic defense, hurt can sometimes come from an unexpected source. When you practice energy work, such as Reiki, Healing Touch or Spiritual Healing, you learn how sensitive humans truly are ...

If one can become aware of energy, to a point where one is feeling more than seeing, hearing or touching, how could this change the way we relate to one another? My Utopian vision is that we would become much more honest with each other - there would be no fooling around when you ask the question "How are you?". Lying would become a faded memory, and truth would be natural. We would be able to feel the shift in another person's energy when talking about something uncomfortable. We would sense the hesitation, the fear, the doubt, the despair, the sadness ... but we would also sense the joy, the abundance, the openness and ultimately the Greatness of life. All. The. Time. Could you imagine this world?

My Utopian vision isn't so far fetched, when you think about it. You could very easily make an effort ~today~ to tune in to the people you come in contact with. Be more sensitive to what they are saying with their whole selves. Use your own energy to uplift another person. A simple smile will do it ... hold the door for another ... give someone a compliment ... drive with more awareness ... be patient with the ones you love ... and most of all be good to your own self.

Within the smallest actions lie the greatest secrets to life.

Crystals

My wonderful mother in law gave me two beautiful quartz crystal pendants this year. I have long believed in the power and presence of crystals. I find they have the ability to change energy ... rose quartz brings much love and dispels negativity .... Amethyst calms anxiety and can help with psychic endeavors ... Citrine brings so much warmth, sunshine and light that it shines into the darkest places within us.

Recently, however, one of these aforementioned quartz crystals taught me something new. This particular stone has seven additional gems affixed to its' front, in a vertical line, to represent the chakras. I have heard that quartz has the ability to amplify the energy of its' wearer, as well as those surrounding. I learned this lesson directly from the quartz the other day ...

I was in the grocery store, and had accidentally abandoned my cart near the end of the aisle, while I wrangled my kids back from the other end. I hurried the children along, and as I was leaving the aisle I passed by a man who was waiting for me to move. He gave me the blank stare that people give when someone is slowing them down - you know the one. I gave a quick smile and moved along ... but from him I felt something sudden and unexpected. I felt a sharp pang of hatred and bitter anger, directly in my heart chakra. I pick up on peoples' energy all the time, we all do, but this felt much different. I felt what he was feeling. I got into the next aisle and stopped for a moment to recognize what had happened and to centre myself.

Liscious gave me many suggestions when I told her what had happened. She said to put white, protecting light around myself if I was going to wear it, and to meditate with the crystal to gain the lesson. She said to remember that my own energy will be amplified when I wear it. I took her advice and practiced all these things before leaving the house wearing the other crystal. This time I noticed peoples' reactions to my energy. Many people gave me the blank stare, but I didn't feel any negative energy this time - thank goodness.

There is so much I have to learn about energy, crystals, the aura and much much more. I hope that in 2010 I can begin incorporating my spiritual life more into my everyday life. I am ready to put myself out there, I am ready to truly let my light shine, and to encourage and enable others to do the same.

Share the Magic

Welcome to the first day of the new year ~ 2010!

I sense that this year will, of course, bring many changes to many people. I have been feeling a spiritual uprising lately, as many of us have. A lot can happen in a year. A lot can change in a year. I propose a challenge to you:

In 2010, do not be afraid to show your spiritual colours. Happiness, Joy, Tranquillity and Love are contagious! And in all religions, these feelings are godly. When you give a friend spiritual insight on their situation, you give a great gift to see the bigger picture. Don't be afraid to see the synchronicity in things ... these stories, these messages, deserve your attention. When you dream of an eagle for nights in a row, then actually see an eagle when you are awake - take notice!

Let us all start a wave of magic starting today.