Friday, March 26, 2010

Rain Here, Rain There

It is raining in the Cariboo this morning. It rained all last night. The sound, the smell, the sight of glorious wet rain is something I miss very much about living on the Coast. It hardly ever rains in the Cariboo ...

There was something about Squamish rain that allowed me to remain in a very deep part of myself for days at a time. The rain truly gives one permission to revert back into oneself, dwelling in that deep, dark, introverted place of reflection.

I remember the day I figured out that if my feet, hands and head were dry, I could walk in the rain for hours. The soft, insulated sound of the raindrops splatting on my umbrella kept me in a very safe space in my mind. The moist air would rise up around me, huddling inside the umbrella, supporting my head - my brain, my mind. There is something very grounding about that humid rain, even when it is so cold it find its' way into your bones. I miss the feeling of falling asleep to the sound of heavy, pounding rain assaulting my roof, and me safe and cozy under the covers of my bed. Under the covers of so many things ...

The open skies of the Cariboo have convinced me to open myself up more, to embrace the extrovert that I have the ability to be; a shapeshifter in nature. Although the absence of huge mountains and massive trees was a shock to me at first, I now appreciate the openness of this place. I was forced out of the nest in many ways when we moved here, and the absence of the security the mountains provided was very apparent for me. Now I feel free, open and ready to truly embrace my life, my future, my passions.

I feel like the Cariboo is preparing me, slowly feeding me experiences, getting me ready for ... well, that I do not know. The other day I became incredibly frustrated because I don't know where my path is leading me. There are things I think I want to be and do, but it seems as though the Universe has other plans for me ... plans that I am not privy to. The only message I received was "Enjoy your children". Is that all? Is that simplicity the thing I am supposed to embrace in this lifetime, or is it just what I am supposed to embrace right now? You might say the Cariboo is making me feel restless ...

I believe that every place we live, visit or pass through, has something o teach us about our lives, our world, our Universe. Tuning in to the heartbeat of a place is not exactly an easy task, especially if the circumstances that brought you there are challenging you. Believing that there is a purpose underlying everything that you experience is a powerful tool, one you will use at some point - it could be tomorrow, it could be next month, it could be five or ten years from now. If I can personally remember that, I am going to be well on my way to letting go of my restlessness, and embracing the moment I am in. Like this moment now, this beautiful feeling of connectedness I receive when I write.

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps this is your write.

    This is an awesome post. It is exactly as if you were walking in my shoes regarding the Rain and the immense open feeling of the Cariboo energy.

    Each post of yours just gets better and better, Nicole. And taking care of children is a mighty you will be so thankful you did. Perhaps you can combine the two, because I am enjoying reading your posts more and more.

    It's the remembering that there is a purpose to everything that I find difficult, at times. But it is just such a great tool. Again, an amazing post!