Transformation: Final Stage

I am slowly coming through a recent transformation, and it has been the longest concentrated process of change I have been through. There has been a consistent feeling of a very silent surface … with very much going on inside of me. I am relieved to have finally come to a life-changing realization. For some reason, it will be difficult for me to post on this blog, but in reality, it is only hard on my Ego.

Eleven years ago, I received my First Level Reiki certificate. This happened during another transformation, where I was coming out of a dangerous place in my mind; a time during which I had abused my mind, spirit and body. Reiki, and the community that came with it, cradled me through some difficult memories. I was twenty years old, with no direction, and no real idea about the big world around us. Really, I had little confidence in myself and my abilities. I thought that because spirituality was the only thing I understood fully, surely my career would follow this path. (What else could I be good at?) To be honest, I actually felt obligated to the art of Reiki to incorporate it into my life fully, in order to repay the Universe for the gifts I was given. Writing this now, I realize that there are no debts to the Universe, most certainly not for the gift of healing! I know now that my only obligation is to enjoy my life, sharing all the love that I can, and living mindfully.

So I started asking myself some questions: What is my passion? What do I love to do? The answer came to me so simply: I love to write and I love to bake. I saw a vision of myself in my own bakery, helping people, brightening their day with something sweet, sharing my love and my passion, giving a gift. There were other times that I tossed the idea of baking around, but I always had a million reasons why I wasn’t good enough to pursue it. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner! In my early twenties, I worked at an amazing bakery called The Wildflour Bakery in Sechelt, on the Sunshine Coast. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was soaking up the techniques like a sponge. I would watch the bakers making cakes, tarts, bars, cookies and bread ~ fascinated. I would ask questions, watch how their hands moved, notice what the bread dough looked like under their hands, or how firmly they were pressing shortbread into pans. Even when I moved back to Squamish, working at a financial planner’s office, there just happened to be a French pastry chef working across the street. I loved to go there, some weeks it was every day, to pick up something sweet. I remember longing to go into the kitchen to watch Alain perform his magic, but I never asked.

Baking has always been a passion. And now I am ready to pursue it fully … so I’ve opened a home-based business! I am already busy filling orders, and I have to say, I absolutely love it. I feel like I am doing exactly what I should be doing. Living my life.

Sensing the Energy of Another

It can be so easy to allow negative aspects of our world to get to us. There is a fine line between practicing loving-kindness and allowing people to walk all over you. Perhaps this is why so many people seem to throw up walls of defense all around themselves. The fear of being hurt by another human being, whether it is physical, mental, spiritual or energetic, this can truly paralyse the sensitive one. Even if one has managed to balance kindness while maintaining an energetic defense, hurt can sometimes come from an unexpected source. When you practice energy work, such as Reiki, Healing Touch or Spiritual Healing, you learn how sensitive humans truly are ...

If one can become aware of energy, to a point where one is feeling more than seeing, hearing or touching, how could this change the way we relate to one another? My Utopian vision is that we would become much more honest with each other - there would be no fooling around when you ask the question "How are you?". Lying would become a faded memory, and truth would be natural. We would be able to feel the shift in another person's energy when talking about something uncomfortable. We would sense the hesitation, the fear, the doubt, the despair, the sadness ... but we would also sense the joy, the abundance, the openness and ultimately the Greatness of life. All. The. Time. Could you imagine this world?

My Utopian vision isn't so far fetched, when you think about it. You could very easily make an effort ~today~ to tune in to the people you come in contact with. Be more sensitive to what they are saying with their whole selves. Use your own energy to uplift another person. A simple smile will do it ... hold the door for another ... give someone a compliment ... drive with more awareness ... be patient with the ones you love ... and most of all be good to your own self.

Within the smallest actions lie the greatest secrets to life.

My Reiki Story

One of the blogs I like to read, Reiki Help Blog, has started the Reiki Stories Project. If you have a Reiki Story to share, I would encourage you to share! You can check it out here:

http://reikihelp.com/blog/2009/06/reiki-stories-project/

Reiki weaved its way into my life during a time when I was at a crossroads. For three years prior, I had been destroying my spirit with drugs - anything I could get my hands on. But I had initiated change ... I had met some friends to practice Wicca with, I had begun meditating every day, and I began spending more time outside in nature. I was feeling better, but loneliness hung on my soul.

One day, a new acquaintance asked me how my knees were feeling. I was a bit confused as to why she would ask me such a seemingly strange question. She matter-of-factly told me to come by her house after work, and she would give me Reiki. I had no idea what Reiki was, but even though I barely knew her, Terry made me feel at ease. So I went to her. She healed my knee, and told me that day that if I wanted to receive my first degree of Reiki, I could do so in a few weeks. I took the course, and my life began to unfold in a completely new way. The Reiki community used to have gatherings about once a month, and during that time I received many healings. It felt amazing to work through all of the emotional issues that had built their walls within me. It certainly wasn’t easy to confront the demons of my past, but I knew it would be worth it. Reiki helped me to regain the faith I had lost in myself, and helped me to feel a sense of community where I was fully accepted for who I truly was.

Reiki is now with me always, and I have finally reached the point where I am ready to share this Universal Love, this Universal Energy, with the world.

Healing the Healer

I want to talk about my own personal experiences in receiving spiritual healings and reiki. When I was suffering from Postpartum Anxiety, I met White Chocolate, and we quickly discovered that we had a lot in common. Most especially, we agreed to begin exchanging healing treatments. The first treatment WC gave me was very intense. I had been craving a spiritual connection with someone, and I had been in great need of a healing for myself. During the first healing, I felt as though the lines between her & I, and everything and everyone had been erased. I felt warmth and fullness in my soul like I had never felt before. When she was finished, she sat in front of me, and I put my face into her hands and wept. I knew I had been suffering, but I didn’t realize how much of it I had been holding in. After each treatment, we would write down any messages that came through, and any other thoughts or feelings.

I felt better after that, but I didn’t feel one hundred percent. I know now that I had a hormonal imbalance, an uncontrollable pattern that I could not escape on my own, but could only deal with on a daily basis. In hindsight, there is a good possibility that I should have been taking medication to ease the symptoms. But the healings truly helped me through an incredibly difficult time in my life, and enabled me to get through my trauma in a more reflective and proactive way.

I look back on those treatments now, and I realize that I did a lot of intense work on myself. It was not easy to observe myself the way that I did, and it required a great amount of courage. I faced my demons, and I continue to face them every day now. I realize the importance of my own work as a healer now. I personally know how difficult it can be to open up your soul and take a long, deep gaze, and to come out of it reflecting on what you saw. Perhaps even more challenging is to use the knowledge to improve your tomorrow. But that topic is for another post.