Friday, July 16, 2010

Transformation: Final Stage

I am slowly coming through a recent transformation, and it has been the longest concentrated process of change I have been through. There has been a consistent feeling of a very silent surface … with very much going on inside of me. I am relieved to have finally come to a life-changing realization. For some reason, it will be difficult for me to post on this blog, but in reality, it is only hard on my Ego.

Eleven years ago, I received my First Level Reiki certificate. This happened during another transformation, where I was coming out of a dangerous place in my mind; a time during which I had abused my mind, spirit and body. Reiki, and the community that came with it, cradled me through some difficult memories. I was twenty years old, with no direction, and no real idea about the big world around us. Really, I had little confidence in myself and my abilities. I thought that because spirituality was the only thing I understood fully, surely my career would follow this path. (What else could I be good at?) To be honest, I actually felt obligated to the art of Reiki to incorporate it into my life fully, in order to repay the Universe for the gifts I was given. Writing this now, I realize that there are no debts to the Universe, most certainly not for the gift of healing! I know now that my only obligation is to enjoy my life, sharing all the love that I can, and living mindfully.

So I started asking myself some questions: What is my passion? What do I love to do? The answer came to me so simply: I love to write and I love to bake. I saw a vision of myself in my own bakery, helping people, brightening their day with something sweet, sharing my love and my passion, giving a gift. There were other times that I tossed the idea of baking around, but I always had a million reasons why I wasn’t good enough to pursue it. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner! In my early twenties, I worked at an amazing bakery called The Wildflour Bakery in Sechelt, on the Sunshine Coast. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was soaking up the techniques like a sponge. I would watch the bakers making cakes, tarts, bars, cookies and bread ~ fascinated. I would ask questions, watch how their hands moved, notice what the bread dough looked like under their hands, or how firmly they were pressing shortbread into pans. Even when I moved back to Squamish, working at a financial planner’s office, there just happened to be a French pastry chef working across the street. I loved to go there, some weeks it was every day, to pick up something sweet. I remember longing to go into the kitchen to watch Alain perform his magic, but I never asked.

Baking has always been a passion. And now I am ready to pursue it fully … so I’ve opened a home-based business! I am already busy filling orders, and I have to say, I absolutely love it. I feel like I am doing exactly what I should be doing. Living my life.


  1. Congratulations, Nicole! I'm so glad you discovered your passions...many people don't, you know. Like me, heh...I'm still searching for the one thing that will stir my blood. I am knowledgeable about many things, but I haven't narrowed down any that I want to pour myself into completely.

    Is your home-based business mail order as well? I'll bet your bakery will be very successful and very yummy!! I'm looking forward to some photos and posts about your creations.

    You're not stuck anymore... kudos to you for your courage in moving forward and living your life!! :)

  2. Hello Nicole,

    This is great news, I am so happy for you! I know you will have a successful business because you have your heart in it, that will take you places.

    Living your life, baking for the love of it and for the love of people is a spiritual path. The great sages say, "Feed people." It is an established path to the divine.

  3. Marion & Miruh: Both of your kind words have touched me. I highly value both of your opinions; I think you are both amazing, strong, spiritual women, and I admire you both.

    It has been a long journey through the past year and a half ... and your blogs have inspired me all along the way. I'm so lucky to have found you.

    In short, Thank You.

  4. Wonderful! I just recently read a novel (called The Girl Who Chased the Moon) where a main character bakes love into her cakes for others, and to call one in particular to truly does carry our emotions and thoughts to others...those eating yours are lucky I am sure...

  5. Thank YOU, Nicole, for writing such thought-provoking posts...such fodder for thought helps ME along in my own journey!

    Have a happy and safe time on your trip to the Coast!! :)