Thursday, August 12, 2010

I have been on a hiatus from focused spiritual activity for several months now, and I am finally beginning to feel the pull of the Divine. Could I be ready to tip the scales back into balance?

As I mentioned in previous posts, this is the first time in my life where I truly felt an aversion to "practicing" my spirituality. With this whole situation I have been feeling seriously guilty, as though I am neglecting myself. In a way, I have been neglecting myself, but during a meditation today I drifted into that lovely space and heard the words "It is always here for you, whenever you need it".

That got me thinking ... perhaps I've been led astray in thinking that I need to pick every situation in my life apart, prying it open to find meaning. What need was I fulfilling by deciphering every message with a book, a card ... someone else's words? I have talked about this in the past, that the answers are always available ~ all you have to do is ask. So was it that I didn't believe it? Or was it just fun for me to play a game of detective? Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with asking questions, and trying to get more information about something that you don't understand. But when you are waiting for the next "message" instead of living a life of peace, in peace, is there something missing there? Did I miss anything valuable when my head was bent over a book, floating around in someone else's world? Or is that part of the experience too ~ Not being able to focus on more than one thing at a time ~

During this time of "incubation" I have noticed my family animal totem, the bald eagle, soaring above me ~ reminding me of all the sacredness of life. But not once did I look up the meaning again. I simply nodded my head and watched him soaring in circles, high up in the sky, observing the world with a new perspective, a changed mind, and a strength from that deep, vast place where all our hearts convene.

Namaste, my friends.

1 comment:

  1. Hello Nicole,

    I can relate to this post wholeheartedly. Sometimes when I just take a break from "practicing spirituality" it is a letting go into just what is, not forcing any concepts on what should be or could be. Somehow I think this way of naturally "being" is the simplicity of practice, just being aware, brings balance.
    Your ability to articulate the experience is in itself a practice of spiritual awareness. This cannot be obtained from reading books or using the mind to understand the mind but using awareness.
    Thanks for sharing from your deep love of the path.