Saturday, November 22, 2008

Mentally preparing for a long long journey ...

I am feeling pretty nervous about leaving husband & the kids for a week. I am trying not to think about it. But my girl is feeling sick today, and I leave the day after tomorrow! But husband can handle it. Honestly, it would probably be easier for him if she were feeling under the weather! Whatever happens here while I'm gone will be under control.

Maybe I am too much in control. Am I feeling nervous because I have to let go a little? I am feeling sick in my stomach just writing this, so that's probably exactly what it is.

This is going to be good for me. A long trip all by myself. Then I get to help make a wedding cake!!! It is a dream of mine to work in a bakery. So I get to live it out a little. And my younger sister is getting married! It's such a wonderful thing. I really like her fiance too. He is just perfect for her. All in all, I'm expecting to have a great trip! I think I'm looking forward to the 12 hour train ride the most though. What a unique (and cheap) way to travel! I'm also looking forward to spending a little time on the beach. I love the ocean.

Monday, November 17, 2008

On to the Next Thing ...

The craft fair went well this weekend. My mom and I had lots of time to talk and enjoy each others' company. And we had so much fun! We learned a lot for next year too ... I think next year will be very successful for us. I was approached to do cookie platters between Dec 12 - 24 ... but I'm not sure if I'll have time.

Because I am onto my next thing. My younger sister's wedding - and leaving the kids alone for a week with Daddy! We are both feeling nervous about that, but I know that it will all work out just fine. It's just that I'll miss them so much.

I have to say I am looking forward to having a bunch of time to myself though. A 12 hour train ride ... I might even have time to read an entire book!!! And maybe I'll get to meditate. I need this time to myself.

I can't believe my little sister is getting married. Her guy is lucky to have her, and she is lucky to have him. They truly balance each other out, and sometimes you need someone who is your complete opposite to do that. They were meant for each other.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I have been really quite busy since Halloween! My mom & I are preparing for a craft fair this weekend, and I'm sooo excited about it! We have wanted to enter a craft fair for the past four years, but haven't, due to circumstances beyond our control. I have been baking like a crazy woman, and I have to say - I am loving the busyness of it. In January I will be starting a support group for Moms. It is so desparately needed here. There is so much I want to do. There is this big person that I've always wanted to be, and now I'm just doing it. It is scary, but I'm doing it. I think that my year of anxiety really put things into perspective. It awoke something in me. And now all I have to do is ensure it doesn't fall asleep again!!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

New Beginnings

The Halloween ritual went very well. I made a commitment to let go of certain emotions and patterns that are holding me back. I wish to let go of fear, anxiety, doubt, and judgement.

I am ready to welcome so many good things into my life. I am going to be much more aware of my inner dialogue, that running commentary. I think I have become so accustomed to it, that I've not questioned my thoughts enough. Especially with judging others. It is so easy to be on the outside looking in to someone's world and someone's problems. It is a coward's path, and I'm trying to change direction. I am ready.

I am ready to freefall. I am ready to welcome in new opportunities and new life. (Don't get me wrong about the new life - No more babies for me!)

When will you take a chance?