Sunday, July 26, 2009

100th Post! Recapping Your Life

I am so amazed that this is my 100th post! I wanted to write about something special to mark the occasion, and I've decided to write about "placement" on one's spiritual path. What I mean by this is where we put ourselves in terms of spiritual evolution. How can we measure our spiritual evolution? Do we find it in the amount of compassion we feel for others? Do we find it by how much peace we enjoy in our minds? Or do we find it only in those small, magical, fleeting moments in our everyday lives?

Perhaps it is all of the above. Each one of us is on their own specific path, predesigned by the Universe, and specially laid out to challenge our innate being. While we can't fail at simply being, we can come up against the same challenges over and over again if we do not learn from our experiences. If we lay down and let our lives "happen" to us, and we don't strive to be better than we were yesterday, we may be setting ourselves up to fail.

I have to admit, the narcissist in me would like to know exactly where I am in terms of meeting my "goals" in this life. But would that knowledge help me to recognize the truth of my innate being? Would it help me align with my higher self? Would that knowledge take away from this beautiful experience of being human? Perhaps the funnest part of this experience is seeking out the things that make you feel completely in line and at peace with the Universe. I have heard that you are always where you are supposed to be, but will you feel that and recognize it if you aren't in alignment with your intrinsic nature? I try to go by the way I feel at any particular time ... if I am not feeling good about something, I take time out for myself and try to get back in line with who I am, and what I humanly want to be in my life. I want to be a strong woman, a dependable, warm and caring friend, a passionate and loving wife, a mother who creates a home full of love... but most of all I just want to be myself.

I receive great pleasure from writing here, and I am so thankful that I've found an outlet for my many deep thoughts. This experience has brought me more peace in my everyday life, and I am so grateful for that. To the people who read this blog (whomever you are ... out there in cyber space) I am incredibly grateful to you for helping to create the energy to carry on with it.

May all our lives be full of love, compassion, learning, sharing and growing.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

When Ego Takes Over

Something was nagging at me all day yesterday, and it seeped into my dreams all the way through to this morning. I was questioning the success of my run. I was wondering if I could have done better. Could I have run faster? Could I have challenged myself more? I had set goals for myself which I considered pretty lofty at the time ~ Run the whole thing without stopping ~ Finish upright and smiling ~ And to enjoy myself! I surpassed all of my own expectations, so why was I left with this awful feeling that I didn't do well enough?

As soon as I told Licious how I was feeling, she started to sing a song about Ego. The moment the word came out of her mouth, I knew that's exactly what it was. And as soon as I observed my Ego and the drama I was creating, it disappeared almost immediately. It truly is amazing how quickly a drama can build when we don't keep our Ego in check! And subsequently, how quickly the drama fades once Ego is discovered.

I do find it interesting that I created this drama only one day after reading a post on the Spiritual Healing Journey blog titled Everyday Creation. I mindfully read this article just yesterday, absorbed it, and thought I understood it. The Ego is a masterful scriptwriter, and I fell prey to its' wiles even with the knowledge I thought I'd gained.

Dear Ego - While you've gained my respect for your cunning, witty and remarkable talents, I am observing you now. I am thankful for some of the things you've given me, but be aware, I am watching out for you ...

Monday, July 20, 2009


Yesterday I put myself to the test. I ran in a 12 km run, and surpassed every single one of my expectations. It was completely amazing.

This whole process has taught me so much about myself. I have way more personal power than I even knew existed in me, and there is something in me now that doesn't even list giving up as an option. It is just easier for me to keep going, to push myself up one more hill, and then to keep running once I'm at the top. I wouldn't be in this place without the help and support of some beautiful, strong and powerful women that I've met along the way. Women who say things like "Oh yeah, you can do it, no problem!" and "Oh, Nicole is ready". Allowing me to notice this strength in myself is a greater gift than they realize, I think. The level these women have worked their way up to astounds me, and for them to say that I can start now at 12 km is inspiring.

Anybody can do what I am doing! You just start treating running (or weight lifting, or biking, or swimming, or whatever!) as though it is already a part of your life. Go out and do your thing on Mondays & Wednesdays because those are the days you do it! It is no big deal to try something new! You do your best, listen to your body and keep going!

I also discovered almost right away that running is helping to keep my anxiety in check. When I feel my solar plexus tightening, I use that anxious energy as fuel for my legs to move faster. At the end of a run, I now feel relaxed, open and happy. It is such a release for me.

I have come such a long long way, and I am so incredibly proud of myself.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Scanning Yourself

Lately, I have been trying to offer at least one healing per week, in order to prepare myself for the future. I feel like I am putting myself through a practicum. But I am finding that I need to really take care of myself if becoming a healer is truly what I want to do. In Barbara Brennan's book "Hands of Light", she is very clear on the importance of self-care. She has included instructions on clearing your own chakras, and scanning your own body before, during and after a healing. I often only have a few minutes to practice this exercise, and so I just quickly visualize each chakra being balanced for one minute. This exercise has been invaluable to me. I feel wonderful after giving a healing now, where in the past I was often afflicted with sleeplessness and agitation. Tuning into my guides is something that Licious really opened me up to doing, and I am so grateful to her for this gift. My guides have been amazingly helpful, and all I had to do was ask.

It is so incredibly important for every one of us, "healer" or not, to be able to scan ourselves ~ for truths, and for un-truths ~ for tension and pent up energy ~ for withheld love and unspoken thoughts. The more we open ourselves up by releasing unwanted thoughts, emotions and energies, the more room we are creating for our desires. The trick, of course, is to be diligent in keeping your mind clear and your heart open. The mind is an amazing machine, but it does tend to get stuck in its ways. Are you wondering where you can start? Some simple exercises to try include:

~ Close your eyes, right now. Breathe deeply in through your nose, exhale deeply out of your nose. With each inhale imagine white or golden light filling up your entire body, through your feet, hands and head. With each exhale, imagine any held tension as energy, or water, and allow it to drain out of you - Let it go. Do this until you feel you are done! Do it whenever you get a chance!

~ If you have trouble focusing, try this one: Sit down, preferably on the ground, but not necessary. Breathe deeply, in through your nose, exhale deeply out of your nose. Imagine roots growing out of your bottom, reaching deep into the fertile soil of Earth. Send your roots down down down as far as you can make them go. With each inhale, drink up nourishment from the center of the earth, and with each exhale, allow your roots to plunge a little bit deeper.

If you keep trying to create more space in yourself in these ways, I promise that you'll begin to feel some changes in your life. You are the only one responsible for your reality here. It is up to you to create what it is that you want. Become the creator of your Life.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Fox Medicine

A very sweet friend of mine pulled a Fox card for me from her animal medicine tarot cards. Here is what it had to say:

Camouflage: Fox is always concerned with the safety of family members and is an excellent talisman for those traveling far is a sign that you are to become like the wind,which is unseen yet is able to weave into and through any location or situation. You would be wise to observe the acts of others rather than their words at this time. Use your cunning nature in a positive way; keep silent about who and what and why you are observing. In learning the art of camouflage, you need to test your abilities to pull this may also gain confidence in your ability to know instantly what will happen next. After observing for awhile you will become aware of certain predictability in given situations and be able to quickly make your move.

...With Fox medicine, you are being asked to see all types of uses for oneness.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Finding the Fox Within

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt as though you were in perfect harmony with the Universe? A time when anything you wanted, you were sure to receive?

Yesterday morning, I went out for a big run, and while the first half of it was spent in thought, the second half was spent in pure enjoyment. I love to just observe the earth in those quiet morning hours, and I challenge myself to be silent too.

Sometimes, when I'm running, I pretend that I have a pack of dogs with me. I can almost hear them panting, their nails clicking on the pavement, and kicking up the dirt on the side of the road. But mostly, I can feel what it would be like to run with a pack of dogs. I like dog energy. So on my run I asked the Universe to send me some dog energy. I got the reply "But that's not what you need right now". I shrugged my shoulders, and moved on.

A few minutes later, I saw a beautiful fox at the edge of someones property. All I could say was ~ Thank You ~. I've been researching fox symbolism, and it seems to me that the fox prefers to keep herself hidden unless absolutely necessary. Outside of mating and child-rearing, they seem to prefer a life of solitude.

The most significant thing I found was on

"When we learn to detach from our surroundings and to use all our senses to be observant, we will also be able to anticipate and create the future... Fox is a wise, potent, teacher for those who choose to live conscious and deliberate lives."

Many of the fox's traits are not one's I thought I could ever claim as my own, however I seem to become more malleable every day. If I could choose some of her traits they would be: stealth, courage, ability to observe unseen, persistence and swiftness.

I'm going to use the Fox in my meditations, and in my everyday life for guidance and protection.