Monday, March 30, 2009

Healing the Healer

I want to talk about my own personal experiences in receiving spiritual healings and reiki. When I was suffering from Postpartum Anxiety, I met White Chocolate, and we quickly discovered that we had a lot in common. Most especially, we agreed to begin exchanging healing treatments. The first treatment WC gave me was very intense. I had been craving a spiritual connection with someone, and I had been in great need of a healing for myself. During the first healing, I felt as though the lines between her & I, and everything and everyone had been erased. I felt warmth and fullness in my soul like I had never felt before. When she was finished, she sat in front of me, and I put my face into her hands and wept. I knew I had been suffering, but I didn’t realize how much of it I had been holding in. After each treatment, we would write down any messages that came through, and any other thoughts or feelings.

I felt better after that, but I didn’t feel one hundred percent. I know now that I had a hormonal imbalance, an uncontrollable pattern that I could not escape on my own, but could only deal with on a daily basis. In hindsight, there is a good possibility that I should have been taking medication to ease the symptoms. But the healings truly helped me through an incredibly difficult time in my life, and enabled me to get through my trauma in a more reflective and proactive way.

I look back on those treatments now, and I realize that I did a lot of intense work on myself. It was not easy to observe myself the way that I did, and it required a great amount of courage. I faced my demons, and I continue to face them every day now. I realize the importance of my own work as a healer now. I personally know how difficult it can be to open up your soul and take a long, deep gaze, and to come out of it reflecting on what you saw. Perhaps even more challenging is to use the knowledge to improve your tomorrow. But that topic is for another post.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Letting Go of Anxiety

For a small while I have been neglecting to observe my thoughts. So I was a bit shocked when I finally got around to this purging task. I have been incredibly self-focused in the last little while. Something had been building inside of me that just wouldn't stop nagging in the very back of my mind. I realized that I have been defining the present by what happened in the past. I have been hanging on to my postpartum anxiety and allowing it to dictate my demeanor, my moods and my actions. I have been focusing on how I felt about starting up a support group, but I should have been focusing on the women who were about to gather together. I realize now that just sitting in a room together is powerful for all of us. This huge spiritual transition we are all experiencing immediately makes us sisters.

My realization came when I decided to check out an ad I've noticed a few times on the Spiritual Healing Journey blog. The ad is for something called TAT Life. I have been practising Reiki for 11 years now, and reading the information on TAT Life seemed pretty straight forward. So I got myself into the pose and went through the first three steps. I didn't even realize I'd been holding on to my anxiety experience so tightly until I began to let it go. Postpartum Anxiety is something that just happened to me. It happened, but I am okay now and I am ready to heal myself.

Everything that happens to us is a matter of circumstance, but how you remember your experience is a matter of perspective. I sometimes look back on the hard times I had, and I realize now that I have been too hard on myself for the way I handled things. I honestly did the very best I could at the time, and I am at peace with that now.

I am a wonderful mom, blessed with two beautiful, happy, healthy children. The way I see it, I am doing a fantastic job. I'm ready to be here now.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Lessons from a Cat

Within the depths of my soul, there was always a place for you,
It was within the time we shared that I belonged to you too.
Now that you have left this place, and moved on to become renewed,
You should know I'll always keep my heart clean, pure and true. - Nicole Aracki

For I know that nothing less could satisfy the way you always expected more from me. And now that you've transcended, I know that the lessons you taught me will keep teaching me for the rest of this life.

1. Love. Love everything and everyone.
2. Enthusiasm. Be enthusiastic and excited about every moment.
3. Faith. Have faith that you will receive all the things you truly want in life.