Wednesday, July 22, 2009

When Ego Takes Over

Something was nagging at me all day yesterday, and it seeped into my dreams all the way through to this morning. I was questioning the success of my run. I was wondering if I could have done better. Could I have run faster? Could I have challenged myself more? I had set goals for myself which I considered pretty lofty at the time ~ Run the whole thing without stopping ~ Finish upright and smiling ~ And to enjoy myself! I surpassed all of my own expectations, so why was I left with this awful feeling that I didn't do well enough?

As soon as I told Licious how I was feeling, she started to sing a song about Ego. The moment the word came out of her mouth, I knew that's exactly what it was. And as soon as I observed my Ego and the drama I was creating, it disappeared almost immediately. It truly is amazing how quickly a drama can build when we don't keep our Ego in check! And subsequently, how quickly the drama fades once Ego is discovered.

I do find it interesting that I created this drama only one day after reading a post on the Spiritual Healing Journey blog titled Everyday Creation. I mindfully read this article just yesterday, absorbed it, and thought I understood it. The Ego is a masterful scriptwriter, and I fell prey to its' wiles even with the knowledge I thought I'd gained.

Dear Ego - While you've gained my respect for your cunning, witty and remarkable talents, I am observing you now. I am thankful for some of the things you've given me, but be aware, I am watching out for you ...

4 comments:

  1. Hello Nicole,

    I like your open letter to old trickster,ego. Everytime we catch ego and give thanks for the lesson, we are honoring our truth. I am learning from training my puppy, that I reward her for getting off the sofa instead of telling her she is bad after she gets off. In the same way when we catch ourselves in the old pattern, it is a step forward and being grateful for being shown, gives us karmic points.

    As always, I enjoy the eloquence of the depth and clarity of your sharings. Thanks!

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  2. Focus on your spirit and the ego will fade to black. Focus on that which you want not on what you don't want. Thanks for sharing your realization along your journey.

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  3. Thank you both for the valuable advice and encouragement!

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