Something was nagging at me all day yesterday, and it seeped into my dreams all the way through to this morning. I was questioning the success of my run. I was wondering if I could have done better. Could I have run faster? Could I have challenged myself more? I had set goals for myself which I considered pretty lofty at the time ~ Run the whole thing without stopping ~ Finish upright and smiling ~ And to enjoy myself! I surpassed all of my own expectations, so why was I left with this awful feeling that I didn't do well enough?
As soon as I told Licious how I was feeling, she started to sing a song about Ego. The moment the word came out of her mouth, I knew that's exactly what it was. And as soon as I observed my Ego and the drama I was creating, it disappeared almost immediately. It truly is amazing how quickly a drama can build when we don't keep our Ego in check! And subsequently, how quickly the drama fades once Ego is discovered.
I do find it interesting that I created this drama only one day after reading a post on the Spiritual Healing Journey blog titled Everyday Creation. I mindfully read this article just yesterday, absorbed it, and thought I understood it. The Ego is a masterful scriptwriter, and I fell prey to its' wiles even with the knowledge I thought I'd gained.
Dear Ego - While you've gained my respect for your cunning, witty and remarkable talents, I am observing you now. I am thankful for some of the things you've given me, but be aware, I am watching out for you ...