I am the hillside next to an expanding highway. I am raped of citizen trees. I am the bare, raw earth begging for survival. But upon my scarred flesh newness will thrive. I will survive, and I will grow.
I reached a milestone today. I realized that I am no longer in the center of the black pit of post partum anxiety. I look back and I can see that I've come a long long way. I used to get angry, frustrated and anxious so easily, but now I can relax and be myself and play with my kids. I feel better than I did. There was a time when I thought I would never feel better. I do feel better. I don't feel perfect, and I don't think I ever will. I know I'll probably encounter many more struggles in my life, but now I know that life is a process. I am here to learn.
I want to give my whole story, but there simply isn't room for it here. My advice to women struggling to deal with depression or anxiety is this:
FIND SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
YOU ARE NOT EVER ALONE.
ASK FOR HELP.
GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED.
Mothers are saints. We give so much of ourselves, and don't often receive the gratitude we deserve, or the recognition we desire.
So here is to the newness of life. Every day is a new beginning with new possibilities. I'm happy to have turned a page in my personal book of life. And I can't wait to see what's on the next page.