For a small while I have been neglecting to observe my thoughts. So I was a bit shocked when I finally got around to this purging task. I have been incredibly self-focused in the last little while. Something had been building inside of me that just wouldn't stop nagging in the very back of my mind. I realized that I have been defining the present by what happened in the past. I have been hanging on to my postpartum anxiety and allowing it to dictate my demeanor, my moods and my actions. I have been focusing on how I felt about starting up a support group, but I should have been focusing on the women who were about to gather together. I realize now that just sitting in a room together is powerful for all of us. This huge spiritual transition we are all experiencing immediately makes us sisters.
My realization came when I decided to check out an ad I've noticed a few times on the Spiritual Healing Journey blog. The ad is for something called TAT Life. I have been practising Reiki for 11 years now, and reading the information on TAT Life seemed pretty straight forward. So I got myself into the pose and went through the first three steps. I didn't even realize I'd been holding on to my anxiety experience so tightly until I began to let it go. Postpartum Anxiety is something that just happened to me. It happened, but I am okay now and I am ready to heal myself.
Everything that happens to us is a matter of circumstance, but how you remember your experience is a matter of perspective. I sometimes look back on the hard times I had, and I realize now that I have been too hard on myself for the way I handled things. I honestly did the very best I could at the time, and I am at peace with that now.
I am a wonderful mom, blessed with two beautiful, happy, healthy children. The way I see it, I am doing a fantastic job. I'm ready to be here now.
Good for you. It is hard to recognize many "symptoms" and signs until they are in the past, you have managed to recognize and rectify it.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mom and an inspiring woman. Thank you for sharing your inspirations.
Hi Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are using the TAT technique. I have found for me that when I recall past events that were traumatic, they no longer have the charge that they used to.
I am so grateful to Tapas Fleming for this technique.
Thank you for the link. I did a post called Let All Things Pass Away where I listed the steps. I was reminded of it by the comment by Coast To North.
I send you blessings to keep flowing with the courage and love to heal yourself!
Thank you, Miruh. You know, I did read that post of yours, but it was like a seed that was planted and has just now begun to grow.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wonder if my words touch others, but there is no way to truly know. We just have to have faith. Well, know now Miruh, that your words touched me, and that you are helping me to heal.
Nicole