Monday, January 5, 2009

I am feeling out of sorts today. It is that time of the month - maybe I should just be expecting to feel terrible, and make plans to deal with it. Or perhaps I should stop trying to resist feeling a little bit sad, a little bit agitated, a little bit anxious.

I am nervous about a meeting at the public health unit on Thursday. I'm just going to tell the nurses that I am starting a support group for moms. But I'm so scared that I'm going to cry in front of them. I really don't want to cry in front of the nurses ... they'll be analysing me, judging me. Maybe they'll think I'm not qualified, not ready to "lead" other women on a path to healing. The truth is, I don't want to "lead" anyone. That's not the point of a support group anyway, I suppose. Can I do this? Can I do this ...

There are points on the path to enlightenment when you think nothing is happening. That is the moment that the thing you want is just beneath the surface. I know I just need to persevere, and the universe will work everything out, but right now I'm just feeling a little bit scared.


  1. Hello Nicole,
    I hear you, your feelings of anxiety about your upcoming group project. I remember myself in a similar situation. It is so natural to go through what you are. I remember what helped me was to know that I did my best to prepare the best way I could. That included doing research and taking care of myself so I would be able to give the best of myself. I reminded myself that I was not the doer and asked that the outcome whatever it wanted to be, was for the highest good of all involved. It was remarkable that what it turned out to be was like a supportive entity, the heart of every person came together to share and partake in one nurturing experience, which was a cohesive desire of everyone there to be healed. We may not have had the solutions to everyone's problems, but what we were able to share with each other was the best healing possible for who we were at the time. This was the best outcome, more than we expected.
    My blessings to you for an awesome healing experience.

  2. Miruh, thank you again for your kind words of wisdom. I recently had a card reading that said a spiritual guide may be entering my life, and I believe you are that person.

    Thank you for having faith in me.

    Love Nicole

  3. Hello Nicole,
    I'm in awe of you and your courage, walking the path at this stage of your life with so much wisdom. Just sharing my experience as others have done the same for me. It's a circle of love, that keeps going round, we are only as strong as the links of the chain that we forge. It is up to us to give and we are blessed in giving.
    Warm love and deep peace to you!