Leaf of Change

I am slowly turning over a leaf of change. I feel as though I had emptied myself out, and I wasn't sure what to do. My Uncle gave me some sage advice. He said that we do need to search sometimes in order to remain connected to the divine source, because without this reassurance we can feel lost. He said to be very aware of the ego at this time, and to ask for space to simply Be, without Ego. I have already had a few opportunities to test myself, and I am feeling very pure right now.

I have been meditating more, and even did a bit of yoga last night, after a long run. I am trying to fill myself up with all good things. I am feeling strangely disciplined as of late ... I am trying not to make assumptions as to where this transition could lead to.

I would just like to enjoy every moment. To truly notice each situation for what is really is. To keep that Ego in check.

When Ego Takes Over

Something was nagging at me all day yesterday, and it seeped into my dreams all the way through to this morning. I was questioning the success of my run. I was wondering if I could have done better. Could I have run faster? Could I have challenged myself more? I had set goals for myself which I considered pretty lofty at the time ~ Run the whole thing without stopping ~ Finish upright and smiling ~ And to enjoy myself! I surpassed all of my own expectations, so why was I left with this awful feeling that I didn't do well enough?

As soon as I told Licious how I was feeling, she started to sing a song about Ego. The moment the word came out of her mouth, I knew that's exactly what it was. And as soon as I observed my Ego and the drama I was creating, it disappeared almost immediately. It truly is amazing how quickly a drama can build when we don't keep our Ego in check! And subsequently, how quickly the drama fades once Ego is discovered.

I do find it interesting that I created this drama only one day after reading a post on the Spiritual Healing Journey blog titled Everyday Creation. I mindfully read this article just yesterday, absorbed it, and thought I understood it. The Ego is a masterful scriptwriter, and I fell prey to its' wiles even with the knowledge I thought I'd gained.

Dear Ego - While you've gained my respect for your cunning, witty and remarkable talents, I am observing you now. I am thankful for some of the things you've given me, but be aware, I am watching out for you ...