Here's to Change

I've been thinking a lot about a scary word lately - Change. The word in itself scares me because of what it could imply ... the unknown. When I think of change, I wonder how I'll adapt because I've become so used to the way things are. Will I let anyone down? Will I let myself down?

I've also been thinking a lot about Guilt lately. My big guilts are usually based in whether or not I'll meet my loved ones' expectations, and it is just the idea of letting someone down that really gets to me. I would like to let go of this drama from my life, and that is the challenge I am consciously facing now. I just returned from a family reunion where I noticed some interesting patterns. Every family has discussions of behaviour they noticed while visiting, and most families hold these discussions behind closed doors. That person will not be aware of what was said, they will only feel that focus upon them. It is an unfortunate pattern that could be corrected, slowly over time, if a handful of us could resist the flow of a river like that. I am going to try.

I felt an energy that Saturday night at the campfire, while all of us gathered in a huge circle around it. I felt my elders, long since gone, enjoying the energy we raised while singing old cowboy songs. I could feel a message there, but couldn't quite grasp it until now. The message was to move on, enjoy life, enjoy each other and to focus on the joys of life. There is truly no time to suffer in silence. A family is there to support you in your suffering, and more importantly still be there when you reach the other side of that suffering. My family is made up of remarkable people, and I am one of them. I want to tell my family how remarkable they are to me.

Here's to Change.

A Friend of Mine

A close friend of mine came to visit recently. She reminds me so much of my younger self, because that’s when I met her. She has known me from my lowest points all the way to my highest points. She is a vault for some of my deepest secrets, and that is why I will always cherish her as one of my very best and closest friends. She is the kind of person who always knows what to say, even in challenging moments, and she always speaks with honesty. I am so lucky to have a friend like that.

Recovering from Spiritual Breaks

I've been spiritually lazy the past few weeks, living my life in a bit of an uncomfortable silence. I am fully aware of my state now, and I'm ready to take on my next challenge. For me, it has become important to take a rest between the lessons of life, in order to recharge and become ready for the next thing.

I've found that it helps me during these lulls to take it easy on myself. There is no one pushing me to have all the answers, except my own demanding self. I like to take long baths, garden in my backyard, do some physical exercise or just lay on the couch. I try to remind myself that I don't have to be this connected person all of the time. Sometimes it feels great to just Be.

One obstacle I seem to face in these downtimes is a struggle to get back to where I once was, spiritually. I know that I cannot truly get back to that place, as my perspective is completely different after reflecting on life lessons. Whatever the reason, it always takes some time to get into the loving space of the universe. In the meantime, I'll take my coffee with cream and sugar ... and I'd like to drink it in the bath!

Home Free

It has been so long since I last posted, and I usually prefer to wait for inspiration before I do write, however I am going to speak from my heart today.

My youngest child turned two years old last week, and I am feeling a deep and silent inner peace. They say it takes a woman's body two years to balance out and become "normal" again after having a child. Well, I have made it to this point, and I am relieved. I made it! I thought that once I reached this "safe point" I would turn around and look at the war field behind me, reflecting on how strong I was, but I just feel safe. I feel as though I have been wrapped up in the all encompassing arms of the universe - the ultimate hug.

I just want to sit and soak in the delicious and satisfying feeling of peace. Namaste!

Enjoy Being Human

We are, first and foremost, here in human form to experience simply being what we are - human. Can becoming too spiritual become a selfish endeavor? Sometimes, Ego can show us how to hide behind our spirituality. We say to ourselves that we know more than the general public, and that we are above them in this way. If you are hiding behind your “awareness”, are you truly benefiting from living a spiritual life?

We can create our own destiny and we can have anything we want for ourselves, but does this mean that we should not try to create a beautiful existence for others too? I suppose it all comes down to what makes us happy, and happiness in the self creates happiness in others, right? I wonder if each one of us had the opportunity to live a period of our lives in seclusion, would we live a more spiritually connected life? Would we long to be more selfless in the absence of longing to be selfish?

Perhaps we are each a mini-universe, encased in this human form, and we are meant to experience every single aspect of ourselves. We can be spiritual, and we can be aware of the seven chakras, enlightenment, pure love, nirvana, heaven, and all the rest of it. But we can also choose to enjoy life as a human, and part of that includes being a little bit ignorant! Perhaps one of the tricky things about self-guided spirituality is that it may always be a struggle to balance it all out. We can still be spiritual, yet enjoy all the pleasures of our physical bodies – touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. We can be spiritual and also enjoy logical thinking, reasoning, and philosophizing. In fact, these things are necessary to living in a state of awareness.

I personally cannot say that I will ever get the answers to these questions … but sometimes ignorance is bliss!

Letting go of Regret

I don't have many regrets in my life. I've tried very hard to be at peace with my decisions, right in the moment that they are made. And I firmly believe that each situation leads you in the direction you need to go to realize your greatest dreams. That being said, I do wonder if there will be opportunities in my future to right the wrongs I have committed. Will I get the chance to say the things I didn't say, and allow myself to forgive, and to be forgiven?

I ask my inner guidance these questions, and I can feel the answers. I know I will get the chance to make things right again. In my small handful of regrets, I will be redeemed.

Is there anything in your life that you feel you cannot make peace with? Do you think we hang on to certain situations for a reason? Perhaps we feel that we cannot be forgiven, perhaps the mistakes we made were too big to let go of. But can we give ourselves a chance to let go, and be free of the pain? I don't know about you, but I'd like to try.

I am making a pledge to myself to create the opportunities to right these wrongs. I am now looking for the opportunity to be healed from these events. I am ready to begin the process of letting go.

Power in Numbers

There is something so incredible about power in numbers. Even just talking about something with another person brings more energy to a subject. When we open ourselves fully to another person, especially in a spiritual way, we are blurring the lines of “self” and separateness and becoming part of the whole again.

Thought is all that we are.

Thought is the most powerful thing we can do.

If we have a goal of healing ourselves and this planet, a very powerful movement could be to consciously focus our intent on a planet that is already healed. Let us try for one day to visualize each person we see as being completely whole, aware and perfect. Let us imagine that person as a extension of our own self, and let us see where that takes us.